9

It’s been two months since Lucky’s departure. The news had hit everyone hard, but Elizabeth and Luke the hardest. All Elizabeth did anymore was set in her studio and draw picture upon picture of Lucky and set out on the docks, looking like she’s waiting for him to return to her. But Lucky never did show up. She was waiting for nothing.

Luke just sat in his club and drowned himself in vodka, going over in his mind the angry words his son had last spoken to him. He couldn’t believe that was the last time he ever saw his son again.

"Cowboy," Luke swallowed down a sob. "Why Cowboy why?"

Nikolas and Emily kept their eye on Elizabeth making sure she didn’t do anything drastic and Nikolas kept close watch out for any reappearance of Helena. Ever since his last discussion with Lucky he decided to put a end to the old woman himself. Helena was always harping on how much more like his father Nikolas could be. Well Helena was about to get her wish. She wanted a Stavros Jr. She got it. Except this time she will be the target of ill will.

"Nikolas?" Emily poked her head through the cottage door. "You here?"

"Yeah. Any news on Helena?" He sat at the table. His recording device still going. He had forgotten to remove the bugs on Helena’s yacht and he was glad he did.

"None. It’s been two months…maybe she’s decided to give up."

"Helena give up? I wish she would. One thing you have to understand about my grandmother Em is when she wants something she never gives up."

"Nikolas really…I don’t think she’s going to be back anytime soon. You’re wasting your time setting here day in and day out listening for any clues she’s back."

"You also thought trying to find my supposed dead brother and friend was a waste of time but I proved you wrong didn’t I? I’m going to make sure that Helena’s taken care of so I can find my brother and bring him home to Liz and Laura. Speaking of Liz, I’m going to the studio to check on her. You want to come?"

Emily shook her head. Ever since Lucky left, she had avoided Elizabeth like the plague. It wasn’t that she didn’t care or wasn’t worried about her friend. It was just that she felt so guilty for having Nikolas and being so happy in love when Liz was so miserable.

"Ok. I’ll give her your regards," Nikolas got up and headed for the door.

*

Elizabeth stared at her new painting of Lucky. She had captured him perfectly. Sometimes, if she closed her eyes and remembered, she could swear he was in the same room with her. A tear slipped from her eyes as she wondered once again why he had left her without even saying good-bye?

I didn't here you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
but I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
until your resting here with me

Elizabeth turned around as she hears the door open and frowned to see Nikolas looking down at her in concern. She hated that he was always checking up on her. Plus he was the last one to talk to Lucky…to see him. She resented the fact that it wasn’t her instead.

I don't want to call my friends
they might wake me from this dream
and I can't leave this bed
risk forgetting all that's been
"Elizabeth…you’ve been here all day painting?"

"It’s all I have left now Nikolas. The only way I can hold on to Lucky without totally losing my mind. I’m sorry you disapprove."
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
but I can't hide
"Painting like this…it’s not going to bring him back Liz."

"And how do you know? He will come back Nikolas. I know he will. He’d never leave me for good and I’m going to stay right here waiting for him."

I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
until you're resting here with me
"Hey. I know he’s going to come back. I’m just saying you should get out more. Try having a little fun. That’s what he’d want for you. All you do anymore is stay in this studio and paint, or go on the docks and wait for Lucky when he’s not coming. Please Liz, let me take you out to dinner or something. We can go see Sheba. You always liked riding her. Or you can drive my Jag…"

"No. If Lucky comes looking for me I need to be here. I can’t be off gallivanting around with his brother. But if you want to do all those things don’t let me stop you."

I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
until your resting here with me

Nikolas sighed irritably, running a hand through his hair. "You’re not the only one that misses him Liz. But he asked us to move on with our life and not to mourn his departure and that’s what I’m trying to do. Keep my promise to make you live life until he does return."

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But we’re not

"Don’t you think I’ve tried already to move on Nikolas? That I’ve tried to be happy without him? I have…but I can’t."

I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

"Elizabeth…I understand what you’re going through. You think I’m so carefree and happy…but I’m not. I’m just going through the motions right now. Lucky wanted us all to be happy and safe. If not safe I’m going to try my darnest to keep the happy part. No matter how much I want to break down and beat the ground that my brother felt he had to leave in order to protect the ones he loves."

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Hot tears spill from Elizabeth’s eyes. "I need him Nikolas. I need him just to survive. Why didn’t he understand that? All I can think of anymore is him. His touch, his smile, his kiss…I always dream of New York and when we had almost made love. Why couldn’t he have come back and taken me with him? It’s not like we haven’t run away together before…Where is he now? Is he thinking of us?"

Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin

"I know he is. He told me we’ll be in his thoughts. Elizabeth you’re just going to have to be strong. Just for a little while longer. I’m making this promise to you right now. I’m going to bring him home to you…even if I have to kill my grandmother to do so," Nikolas pulled his friend into a comforting hug, stroking her hair as she cried. Starting now, his hunt for Helena has begun.

I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here with me-Dido

I Try- Macy Gray

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