26
Two weeks later…
Everything was on an even keel again for the Dawson family. Rose had quit her job at the factory and Jack had gone back. He had yet to talk about his time overseas. He just went about the days as if nothing had ever happened. It was only at night when Jack even showed signs that things weren’t right. Rose would lay awake, listening to him talk in his sleep. She cried everytime she heard him beg for someone to stop hurting him.
I hate to talk like this
I hate to act as if there's something wrong
But I can't say I have this dream at night almost every night
I've been dreaming it forever
It's easy to remember, it's always cold always day always here
Always say I'm alright I'll be okay
If I can keep myself awake (keep myself awake...)
At the moment, Rose laid awake, listening to him beg once again. But this time, it was worse. He was tossing, turning, struggling with some invisible enemy. Rose was afraid that he’d hurt himself if he didn’t wake up soon. Carefully she shook his shoulder, telling him to wake up. He bolted upright without delay. His blue eyes were wide and alert. Rose stroked his hair, whispering comforting words into his ear.
"Rose," He wrapped trembling arms around her, pulling her as close as possible.
"Shhh Jack. It’s ok. You’re home now," She rubbed his back, wanting to calm his racing heartbeat. "No one can hurt you anymore. You’re home."
I get up early and look around me
And can't help but wonder what you mean
But I'm sleeping I'm so deep in
So much more real to me closer than reality
It's always cold always day always here
Always say I'm alright I'll be okay
If I can keep myself awake (keep myself awake...)
He pulled away and wiped away the sweat from his forehead. He had to get his bearings. It was just a dream. He was home now. Safe and sound.
"Jack…tell me about what
happened."
He frowned at Rose, not liking what she was asking him to do. He
shook his head, his face void of emotion. "No Rose. No. I
can’t."
"Jack, it’ll help you get over what happened."
"I don’t want to relive it again Rose."
"But Jack…"
I get up early I look around me
I'm buying coffee by the pound
But I'm sleeping so deep in it
"I said no! Rose, I’m not going to discuss this with you any longer!"
"Well then talk to a professional since you won’t talk to me! Talk to someone!" Rose rubbed his shoulders, forgiving him for his outburst. He knew that the war was a sore point for him. "I just want you to be happy Jack. I want your nightmares to end so you can rest again. God, I love you so much…it’s overwhelming at times," a tear fell from her eyes.
Jack instantly regretted the outburst. None of this was her fault. She hadn’t made him go to war. She didn’t hold him captive and tortured him and tortured him until he was rescued. She was just worried about him. That was all. "Rose, I’m fine. I’m alright. Sure I have nightmares, I just got back from going to war. So of course I’m going to have some bad dreams. It’s perfectly normal."
"But Jack…"
"I’m fine," He knew just how to make her forget about his nightmares. How to preoccupy her for at least a couple of hours. The ole Dawson charm always worked with Rose. Soon, his nightmares will be the last thing on her mind.
"Jack…. No….we need to talk," Rose groaned in reluctant pleasure as his kisses became more aggressive.
"About what?" He asked, removing his nightshirt, letting her hands fall on his bare skin.
"Uh…I…I don’t know," Rose gave in, cursing herself for being so susceptible to Jack. As soon as her hands hand touched his chest, she knew that she was a goner.
I can't keep myself awake (keep myself awake...)
~*~
Later that afternoon, Rose was heading for the kitchen when she saw Jack’s portfolio laying on the couch. She had been pleased when Jack took up his drawing again. Maybe he hadn’t changed all that much after all. Maybe Jack’s carefree spirit had mad it through his ordeal intact.
Curious about what he’s been working on for the past few weeks, Rose picked up the portfolio and gasped in horror at what she saw. Drawings of death and torture. Dark sounds of war. Men and parts of men strewn everywhere over a battle field.
"Rose?" George entered the room, his face wrinkled in concern. "What’s wrong?"
"Look," She held the portfolio out to Jack’s cousin, whose eyes grew wide with shock.
"Jack did this?"
Rose nodded grimly. It was indeed worse then she had originally thought. The Jack she knew would never have drawn anything like this. The Jack she knew sketched beauty and life. Not ugliness and death. Something had to be done. Someone needed to talk with Jack. Someone who was not susceptible to his charms, so he couldn’t use seduction as a way to get out of talking about his problems. "…George…will you talk to Jack for me? Get him to seek professional help?"
"Why can’t you do it?"
Rose blushed, remembering that very morning. How all thoughts of talking had fled her mind when her hands met Jack’s bare skin. Or how he smelt so good. Something that was purely Jack. Sweet and wonderful. "I-I try…but I always forget."
George laughed, getting the gist of what Rose was saying. "Ah, a recurring victim of that ole Dawson Charm, eh? Ok Rose. I’ll talk to Jack. I’ll get him to go get help."
Rose smiled, relief running through her. Maybe George can get through to him. She threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you George. This means so much to me."
~*~
George found Jack in town, just walking down the street, his eyes to the ground. He frowned as he saw Jack wipe his eyes, as if he was wiping away freshly fallen tears. Something was definitely going on with his cousin. Something was wrong.
Slowly, he made his approach. George walked up behind Jack and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was taken by surprise when Jack’s fist had almost made contact with his nose. George stepped back as fearful blue eyes began to fill with recognition.
"George?"
"Man, you’re jumpy," George laughed it off.
"You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that."
"You need to calm down," George fell into step beside his cousin. "So. Where are you going?"
"Nowhere," Jack shrugged. "I’m just walking around town."
"Oh," George nodded his own misgivings about Jack’s mental health beginning to grow. "…Rose is worried about you Jack."
"Rose and I are fine. In fact, this morning…"
"You used the Dawson charm on her. But it won’t work on me Jack. Never try to charm a charmer. It never works."
"I’m fine. Sure, I have a few nightmares, but who wouldn’t. There’s no need for you nor Rose to worry."
"Oh really? Well then explain…" George was cut off by the sound of a backfiring car and Jack pushing him to the ground.
George looked at his cousin, who was
also on the ground in surprise and irritation. "Why did you
do that for?"
Jack didn’t answer. He was back in Europe. Crouched down in
a ditch as bullets whizzed by. He looked at George, fear and
determination in his eyes. "Stay down or they’ll hit
you."
"Who’ll hit me Jack?" George frowned. "Come
on. Stop fooling around. Let’s go home."
Home? How could they go home? They were in the middle of a war here. They couldn’t just get up and go home! "Are you crazy!? They’re shooting at us and home’s an ocean away!"
George’s frown deepened as he finally realized what was happening. Jack was flashing back to the war. Of course! It made perfect sense! Grabbing a hold of Jack’s arms, George knew what he had to do. He had to make his cousin see that it wasn’t real. That he was no longer in war-torn Europe. He was home. With Rose and his family.
"Get down," Jack tried to pull George back down, but George refused to be moved.
"Jack. You’re having a flashback. You’re not in the war anymore. You’re home in Chippewa Falls. Rose and Josephine are at the house waiting for you."
Jack shook his head violently.
"You’re wrong George. Don’t you see them with
their guns and the bullets?"
"Jack, there are no bullets. We’re safe. You’re
safe," George moved to the side so Jack could see the cars
and people of Chippewa Falls.
Jack frowned as the muddy trenches and flying bullets disappeared into moving cars, people, and buildings. But this was impossible! This shouldn’t be happening! He was at war! He was…he was…so messed up. His clearing mind remembered what he was doing before the backfiring of the car that had sent him falling back into time, to a place full of smoke and death. He was reassuring George that he was ok. That there was nothing to be worried about. But now…after that episode…he wasn’t so sure. He didn’t even have flashbacks about Titanic. This wasn’t normal, and neither was the way he’s been living his life for the past two weeks. Holding all negative emotions at bay. Avoiding all discussions of the war and his constant seduction of Rose everytime she tried to have a serious conversation with him. And then his drawings…they definitely weren’t his usual style. They were all dark and angry. Full of suffering and death. Not his usual drawings full of love, light and life. No, there was something wrong. George knew it, Rose knew it, and now Jack knew it too. He had to fix things before they got any worse.
"George…can you make me an appointment with Doctor Calvert? I think…I think it’s time I go see him."
"Sure thing Cousin," George squeezed Jack’s slumped shoulders. "You’re doing the right thing Jack. Believe me."
Sighing, Jack nodded, not feeling very relieved. What was this going to mean for his marriage? Only the future could tell.
~*~
Jack found Rose in the kitchen, preparing dinner. He just watched her for a minute. He couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, doing the most simplest of things. From washing the clothes, to pulling the sheets back on the bed they shared. He loved her so much…her and Josephine. They were his lifeline. They were what had gotten him through months of torture and pain.
"Jack?" her soft voice brought her out of his thoughts. She looked at him in concern. "What are you doing? Are you ok?" Ever since she saw his new sketches, the worry hadn’t left her. Everything wasn’t alright after all. Everything was very wrong. She just didn’t know what to do about it.
He swallowed, suddenly nervous. This wasn’t at all easy for him to talk about. Especially with Rose. She had always had this image of him being the strong, brave, and smart one. But the truth was that he had never been any of those things. He was weak, scared, and until recently, naive. "…I…I had a flashback to the war this afternoon. George was with me. He got me out of it."
"My goodness," Rose gasped, fear for her husband shining in her eyes.
"I asked George to make me an appointment for me. I’ll be going back to Dr. Calvert."
"Oh Jack!" Rose ran to him and wrapped her arms around his thin frame. "I am so happy to hear this."
"I’m going to get well soon Rose. I promise."
"I know you will Jack. I’ll be right by your side. Every step of the way.
Keep Myself Awake -Black Lab