25
The psychiatrist office was large and polished, giving it a clean, sterilized air. Rose couldn’t help but be intimidated as she stepped into the office and took a seat in front of the desk. She waited for almost an hour for the doctor to arrive and tell her what she needed to know about her husband.
"Mrs. Dawson?" Dr. Connelly was tall with laughing brown eyes and salt and pepper hair. His smile was bright and genuine. His voice soft and gentle, putting Rose at ease. It was going to be very easy to talk to him.
She took a deep breath before speaking. "The letter I had gotten a week ago told me to see you about my husband’s mental condition. I’m supposed to consult with you about how to act around him tomorrow when he returns. Doctor…what’s wrong with Jack? Just how much has this war affected him?"
The man took a deep breath, thinking of how unfair all of this was. He had spoken with Private Dawson and was a bit taken aback about how young he was. A man with decades ahead of him and now here Connelly was again. Talking to the young private’s young wife. They were too young for the traumas of war.
"Yes. Mrs. Dawson…your husband has been through a very traumatizing experience. He’s been tortured, beaten….he’s not going to be the same man he was when he left for the war. He’s a former POW now. He’s been traumatized…maybe beyond repair."
Rose glared at the floor. She was angry. Angry at the Government for herself and for Jack. Especially for Jack. They were supposed to protect him! Not let him fall into enemy hands. Not let him get tortured and beaten. Rose closed her eyes, trying to get a hold on her anger. She wanted to rant and rail on the poor man before her. Tell him how irresponsible they all were. But when she looked into his eyes and saw warm sympathy and regret there…she couldn’t. All she could do was set back and find out what she needed to do to help her husband through his nightmares and memories.
"How do I help Jack? What do I do?"
The psychiatrist sadly smiled with relief. He had thought that the young Mrs. Dawson would tell him off about what happened. She wouldn’t have been the first and wouldn’t have been the last. But she didn’t tell him off. Instead, she wanted to concentrate on the care for her husband.
"Make no sudden movements or noises. Give him time and space. Be there to listen and take him to see a psychiatrist two times a week."
"Have you seen Jack, Dr. Connelly?"
The doctor nodded. "Physically, he seems fine. But battle scars run deep. Even deeper if you’ve been a prisoner. Jack may never be the same. Are you prepared for that?"
Rose looked at the ground, wanting to cry for the days of innocence and sunshine that they had lost forever. Those first years of her marriage were gone forever. Now it was time to see just how strong her marriage truly was.
~*~
The next day…
Rose stood at the trainstation, awaiting Jack’s arrival. She was alone. The doctor thought it best if it was just her there to greet Jack. The station was crowded enough already and Jack’s nerves were probably on end.
She rubbed her shoulders nervously. This was her first time in over a year that she would set eyes on Jack. How much would have changed between them? How much would remain the same?
She stared through the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. She couldn’t wait to see him…to feel him again. Sighing, she turned around to find herself staring into the bluest, most saddest and haunted blue eyes she’s ever seen. She stepped back, letting her thirsty eyes drink him in. He was home. The most beautiful boy with the light eyes and hair made of sunshine and silk.
"Jack," her arms went around him, pulling him close. Sobs of joy shook her body as his arms encircled her waist, pulling her close. He clung to her as if she was a life preserver in his ocean of despair.
She couldn’t keep her hands off of him. She ran her hands over his arms, back, neck and through his hair. She pulled away to touch his face, neck, and chest, not able to believe that it was really him. That he was back. He pulled her back to him and crushed her lips with his own. It was like they couldn’t get enough of one another. Kiss upon kiss. Arms tightly wrapped around each other, holding on for dear life.
"Jack, you’re home," Rose moved her face away from his lips so they could talk. She touched his lips once more and he kissed her fingers. "We’ve missed you so much."
"We?" Jack spoke for the first time. The most beautiful sound to Rose’s ears.
"Me and Josephine, Sam and George. We’ve all missed you," tears rolled from her eyes as she remembered the past year and a half without Jack. The midnight crying. The aching in her heart.
"Josephine…I brought her something," Jack looked towards the exit. "Can I see her?"
Rose smiled, relieved that Jack’s love for his little girl was fully intact. "Let’s go home Jack," She gently took his hand and together, they went home to their waiting family.
~*~
"Daddy!" Josephine ran to her father as Jack and Rose entered the house, her blue eyes sparkled with joy as she flew into her father’s arms. She squealed with delight as Jack lifted her off the ground. "Where were you?"
"Away. But I brought you a gift. Do you want to see her?"
The little girl eagerly nodded as Jack carried her to the couch and kept her in his arms.
"Rose, my bag?" He looked up at Rose, who watched the scene with tears in her eyes. So far, it looked like he wasn’t affected by his experience in Europe. Only when she looked into his eyes did she see the truth…the real Jack under this happy façade.
"Here it is," she took the duffel bag to her husband and watched as he pulled out a beautiful blonde doll for their daughter. Rose sighed happily, remembering a doll just like it given to her by her own father when she was a girl.
"Her name is Francine," Jack explained. "She wanted a new home and I immediately thought of a certain little girl that would love and take care of her."
"Oh daddy! Thank you! I love you!" Josephine threw her arms around Jack.
"Come Josephine. It’s nap time," Rose reached for the little girl, but Jack stood up, Josephine still in his arms.
"I can take her upstairs. If you don’t mind."
"Are you sure?" Rose asked, knowing that George and Sam looked forward to spending time with him.
"Positive. Besides, I have a lot of time to make up for."
"Well…ok," Rose felt Sam and George’s eyes on her. Jack had yet to even speak to them.
As soon as Jack and Josephine were out of earshot, Rose was bamboarded with questions.
"What’s wrong with him?" Sam asked.
"He has yet to say anything to us," George complained.
"Well he does seem pretty normal."
"His eyes…they didn’t look too good."
"Stop it!" Rose interrupted, a headache quickly forming. "It’s been a very stressful year for Jack. I’m sure that he’ll be more receptive once she’s had a chance to rest. Just be patient," She headed upstairs and found Jack in Josephine’s room. Josephine was curled up in Jack’s lap. Her eyes were closed as he sang to her.
"Come Josephine, in my flying machine, and it’s up she goes. Up she goes. Up. Up. To the sky dear. Oh my, the moon is on fire. Come Josephine in my flying machine, and it’s up and up, goodbye."
Josephine giggled and hugged Jack even tighter. "Daddy, promise to never go away again."
"I promise sweetie," he kissed the top of her head.
"Mommy’s sad. Will you make her happy again?"
Jack frowned. "Why do you say that Mommy’s sad?"
"Because she cries when she thinks I’m not looking. Especially at night. Will you make her happy again?"
Rose clamped her hand over her mouth, suppressing a sob. She had no idea that Josephine knew of her nightly cries of loneliness and despair. Her need for Jack eating her up.
"I’ll try my best, Josie," Jack reassured her and carried the little girl to the bed and tucked her in.
Carefully, Rose made her way back to the room. She laid down, her back facing the door. She didn’t want Jack to know that she had heard their conversation. She didn’t want him to comfort her this time. This time she wanted to be the one comforting him.
His soft footsteps entered the room and cool lips brushed her forehead. She turned around and looked at him, noticing for the first time just how thin he really was and his skin was an unhealthy pale.
"Jack," She held out her arms for him to come to her.
"Josephine told me you’ve been crying," He sat on the bed and twirled one of her red curls around his finger.
"Only because you were gone," Rose sighed, taking his hand in hers.
A tear leapt from his eyes as he thought of just how much he had truly missed Rose. She reached up and tenderly wiped the tear away.
"I’m here for you Jack," She whispered, pulling him down to lay next to her. Comforting arms wrapped around his tense body.
"I know," he closed his eyes
as she ran her fingers through his hair. Yes, he knew she was
there for him and he knew that she wanted him to talk to her. But
he couldn’t. Not right then. Not his first day back. All he
wanted to do was get lost in her. Forget about the darkness
threatening to engulf his soul. Trying to ignore the sounds of
war and captivity running trough his head. For just one night he
wanted to return to the optimistic boy he had once been. To the
life he had once known before the war. "Rose…let me
hold you tonight. We’ll talk tomorrow."
"Ok," Rose pushed back her impatience. She needed to
know what had happened to him. To get rid of these pictures in
her head. But that could wait. Tonight was about Jack and what he
needed and right now, he needed to be held.
But they did more then hold each other. They made passionate love, mostly oblivious to the family waiting downstairs. Only Jack and Rose were important. No one else.
~*~
That night, Rose laid next to a sleeping Jack, examining the scars and bruises on his body. She felt tears in her eyes as she touched a very prominent scar on his left shoulder.
"Oh Jack…what did they do to you?"
"Rose," His eyes popped open, full of alertness and fear. It was another nightmare. They had been plaguing him ever since his rescue. He had hoped they would disappear once he got home. But it looked like they were with him for good.
"Shhh. I’m right here," She touched h is face, wiping away the sweat and tears. "I’m here and you’re home. You’re safe."
"It was…"
"I know," She kissed his trembling lips, wanting to kiss away the affects of the nightmare. "Come lay back down. You need to rest."
He wanted to tell her that for him, there was no rest to be had. But he didn’t want to worry her. But she did worry and her worries were going to grow before it was all over and done with.