DEEP THOUGHT #1
You know, we seem to
mature in so many ways. Like when I was in high school,
especially in my underclassman years, I used to be flattered when
someone made it sound like I should consider myself lucky to be
allowed to hang out with him or her. That it was some great
honor. But now...that I'm out of high school I see things a lot
differently. Now when someone acts like that I think to myself,
what makes you so special? You're not any different from me. In
fact they should be lucky to be in my presence:) Like Jackee at
work. She's a lot older than I am, btw. But she was telling me
how her father never letted her play with any kids of color when
she was a kid and he was a racist and all that. The way she made
it sound, the people she did associate with that were people of
color should feel lucky that they're aloud to be around her now.
Oh please what a load of bull. She should be the one considering
herself lucky, that she didn't carry the same attitude as her
father...well at least not as deeply anyway.
In high school I wouldn't have found that type of high on a
pedestal attitude insulting but now...I find it kind of
stupid. It's like on Titanic and how Ruth was putting on airs
when she was really poorer then Jack and his friends. Or like on
this British TV show I saw last week called Putting on Airs, or
some like that. It was about this woman who was acting like a
first class snob that was having the vicor over for tea and her
poor relatives showed up. It was hilarious. Her relatives looked
like what we Americans would call hillbillies and her father had
ran off with a gypsy and her sister wanted to commit suicide and
be buried in her mother's wedding dress but ended up dragging the
vicor down the street:) It was a funny show. But anyway, that's
who Jackee and the other people at work remind me of. High
society wannabes.
Maybe that's why I haven't talked to my friend Crystal since a
couple of months ago. When we were kids, I was so busy trying to
be like her. And then she moved and I found out who I was finally
and now she's back, I'm afraid she won't like the person I really
am since I was kind of hiding my true self when I was a teenager.
Jackee once said that no one would know the real me. And in a way
she's right. No one at work will know the real me because, I
don't want to be around them very much. But I think it's time to
let old friends like Crystal really get to know who I am. If they
can't accept it, fine. But if they can that's great too. No more
hiding.