29

Three years later

North Carolina University…

Nineteen years old Rose Dewitt Bukater stared out at the churning crowd, wondering why she had accepted the invitation to the frat party. Her fiancée would not be pleased if he knew that Rose was surrounded by men, listening to loud music, and drinking cheap beer, all the while pretending to have the time of her life. Cal was the overprotective type. He didn’t like any one to get too close to his property and that was what Rose have become in the past three years. Caledon Hockley’s property. A trophy to be shown off at his parties and polo matches. Her relationship with Cal was nothing like what she once had with Jack. It was full of arguments, and put-downs. Yet Rose had accepted Cal’s proposal of marriage and come Spring, she was to become his wife.

She had come to SCU in not only hopes of a fine education, but I hopes of getting away from her mother and Cal for a bit. They were stifling the life right out of her. She needed some breathing room. But that wasn’t the only reason either. She had held a small hope that Jack was also attending the university and they would run into one another. But sadly, there had been no sign of her former love’s attendance. She had often thought of him through the past years of their separation. Was he happy? Did he have a new girlfriend? Was he still angry with her? Even after three long years, it was obvious that Rose was still in love with him. Not Cal…Jack. But that didn’t matter anymore. Happy or not, Rose’s life was with Cal now. Jack was a part of her past. She’ll probably never see him again anyway.

"Sorry!" Exclaimed a dark-haired young man, who slammed into her, dumping his beer on the expensive silk blouse that Cal had given to her. He was not going to be pleased when he found out about this.

Watching the man disappear into the crowd, Rose sighed miserably. She picked up a nearby napkin and blotted the drink off her now ruined blouse. This was going to turn into another argument with Cal. Another bout of his insults and put downs that made her feel like s he was nothing. Rose watched her peers as she sat there, feeling extremely jealous of them. They were so carefree…not a worry in the world. None of the girls on the dance floor had to worry about overbearing mothers and possessive, yet abusive fiancées. None of them had their lives snatched away by other people’s greed.

Well…maybe it was time for Rose to take control back somehow. Do something that Cal and her mother would never expect her of doing. Something they couldn’t keep her from achieving. Something permanent. Something that they couldn’t undo. Rose’s eyes roamed the room and she smiled as she spotted the deserted and halfway-concealed balcony. The idea was troubling and desperate. But that was how Rose felt. She was desperate to be free once again. Whether it was in this world or another.

Unbeknownst to Rose, she was being watched by a pair of intense blue eyes. He stood in the back of the room, hidden in the shadows. He had came to the frat party to take a break from his studies and was surprised to find his ex-girlfriend there, setting on the couch alone and by the looks of it, thoroughly depressed. She was as beautiful as the last time saw her and seeing her now caused a deep ache in his heart, an ache he had repressed for the past three years.

He wanted to talk to her, but something held him back. He just stood there, staring at her, drowning in bittersweet memories of their time together. Then someone had began talking to him, asking what his results on a test was, forcing Jack to take his eyes away from Rose. When he had looked back, she was gone. Shit! He hadn’t meant to let Rose out of his sight! Where could she be? She couldn’t have gone far! He hadn’t looked away for that long! Relief filled him as he spotted her stepping out onto the balcony, but shock and horror replaced the relief as he watched her climb over the balcony railing. Rose! What was she doing?!

Rose stared down at the ground far below her, swallowing down the fear that threatened to overcome her. This was something she had to do to take her life back. Besides, there was really nothing for her to stick around for. Her life was no longer her own. She was engaged to a man she despised and she had lost the only man she could ever love. There was no reason for her to live. Her only reason had been taken away from her three years ago. Closing her eyes, she prepared herself to let go and kiss this miserable life good-bye.

"Don’t do it," The voice was strong, firm, and acheingly familiar. A voice she had decided that she would never hear again.

She was afraid to turn around and meet disappointment, that it wasn’t him, just someone with his voice. But she couldn’t help herself. She turned around and gasped as she met a pair of the bluest eyes she had last seen three years ago. Eyes that belonged to only one person. "Jack?"

Jack smiled and nodded as he held out a hand, ready to pull her back over to safety. "Give me your hand. I’ll pull you back over."

Rose shook her head regretfully. She would have loved to take his hand and have everything return to the way it used to be. But she knew that would never happen. She had ripped out his heart and there was no going back. The past was the past and this was something she had to do. The only way she could get free from Cal. "No Jack…I have to do this. It’s the only way."

Jack frowned, confused by Rose’s statement. "The only way for what Rose?"

Rose looked into his eyes, seeing the compassion there. The willingness to listen. He really wanted to help her. He wanted to be there for her. But she couldn’t let him. Accepting his help meant that her mother and Cal had won. They would rule her life forever. "Go away Jack," She turned from him.

"I can’t. I’m too involved now. You jump, and I’m going to have to jump off right after you."

Rose looked at him strangely. He had to be bluffing. He would never do such a thing…for her. Not anymore. Their relationship was ancient history now. "Don’t be absurd. You’ll be killed. The fall alone would kill you."

Jack shrugged, as if he could care less about dying. "It’d kill you too."

"So? What does it matter to you Jack? Why do you care?"

The beautiful days are long gone
I can’t seem to breathe
It feels like it hasn’t been that long
Since you walked away from me
Now I can try to act real strong
But you and I both know I still think of you that way
You should know…that

Jack bit his lip, thinking the question over. Why did he care if Rose lived or died? She had ripped his heart to pieces. She had chose the rich Caledon Hockley over him. So why did he care? The answer was simple. Simple and oh so clear in his eyes. But he couldn’t tell her…now…ever. She no longer felt the same for him and he wasn’t keen on opening himself up for disappointment. "…I care…I care because you made a promise to me Rose. Remember when I got shot? You promised me that you would survive. If you do this Rose…you’ll be breaking that promise. Do you really want to do that to me? Break my heart all over again?"

Tears spilt from Rose’s eyes as she looked back at her ex-boyfriend. How could he hold her to that promise, made so long ago. Made when she had everything to live for…when she had control over her life. "You can’t possibly hold me to that Jack."

"I do," He held out a welcoming hand, his eyes soundlessly pleading for her to come back over the rail to safety.

The beautiful lights the star filled nights
They don’t mean a thing
Cause you were my star and so it don’t seem right
Without you here with me
Now I can try to act real strong
But you and I both know its hard for me to say
You were my soul…

"But you don’t understand why I have to do this," Rose didn’t take her eyes away from Jack, sort of happy that he was the last person she’ll see.

"Make me understand Rose. Come back over and tell me why you feel like you have no way out," Jack stepped closer, hoping not to spook her.

Sighing, Rose knew that she was defeated. She could never really say no to Jack and this time was no exception. Slowly she took Jack’s hand and helped him help her back over the rail. Once back over, Rose made the mistake of looking down at the ground below and reality finally hit her hard. She really could have died tonight. Sure, she knew that she could, but it hadn’t sunk in, but now it had and it filled her with terror. If it hadn’t been for Jack…she probably would have died so determined to free herself from her mother and Cal. Trembling, Rose allowed Jack to lead her to a dark corner where they could be alone and talk.

Rose sagged in her chair, covering her face as relief washed through her. She hadn’t really wanted to die. She just wanted her life back. She wanted to do something that would wrist control away from her mother and Cal. Jumping from the balcony had seemed like the simple thing to do. But now, she saw that it wouldn’t have gotten her free. It would have only gotten her dead.

"Rose," Jack slipped his hand over hers, compassion and curiosity filling his voice.

"Why? Why were you going to jump? Is life that horrible?"
Wiping away a tear, Rose node nodded. "Horrible and overbearing," Rose leaned back in her chair, wondering how she was going to explain herself. Explain to him how her life sucked beyond belief. So much had changed since their breakup. She could only nod in answer to Jack’s question, staring at the handsome face she had missed daily.

Now I could say that I don’t love you no more
And I could say that I’ve closed the door for our love
And I can tell you I feel It’s time for us to go our separate ways
But baby I just wouldn’t be the same
Cause girl your love is still on my brain

"Moira wrote me last month. She said that you and Cal are engaged. She also told me that his father had brought you and your mom a penthouse…that you two go to Europe on vacation. She told me that you were living the good life. You should be bursting with happiness right now…but looking into your eyes and your actions just now…they speak just the opposite. Talk to me Rose. Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Rose sighed, not daring to meet his eyes, fearful that he’d see the truth they contained. "It’s my whole world and all the people in it. The inertia of my life…and me…powerless to stop. Mother and Cal…they’ve hijacked my life. It’s go where they want to go, do what they want to do, say what they want me to say. Cal…he treats me like I’m a trophy and if I dare state my opinion on anything…especially in front of his friends…I just wanted to be free Jack. I just wanted to regain control of my life again. Jumping off the balcony…it seemed like a good idea at the time. It would have freed me from Cal."
"And everything else as well. Rose, suicide is never the answer. Besides…I thought that this was the kind of life you wanted. I mean…that was the reason you broke up with me…right? You wanted to live the rich life that Cal had to offer."

Rose stared down at the waxed floor, full of guilt. She had hurt him so much. He must hate her for what she had done. She didn’t blame him in the least. If only she could tell him the truth of what happened…that none of what she had said was real. Oh Jack. I still love you. After all this time, I love you more then ever before. I wish that we could be together, but…We can’t. You can’t possibly love me anymore…not after what I did to you….

Now when your in love it takes time to heal
When someone’s broken your heart and changes how you feel
Girl I thought that you’d never do me that way
But even after all I still think of you that way

Now I could say that I don’t love you no more
(I could say this and I could say that)
And I could say that I’ve closed the door for our love
And I can tell you I feel It’s time for us to go our separate ways
But baby I just wouldn’t be the same
Cause girl your love is still on my brain

Jack took a deep breath, knowing that he was opening up an old wound. But he needed closure. He needed to move on with his life. Maybe after tonight…he could do that. No more moping over a girl he had lost when he was sixteen. "I still love you Rose. After all this time….all I can think about is being with you. I…I was just so hurt that you chose Cal over me…" Jack took her hand in his, holding her in a firm grip as if she’d disappear. "I tried to hate you…I tried to stop loving you altogether…but I couldn’t…I still can’t."

Silence filled the space between them, neither knowing what to say or do. Jack had just spilled his heart out to her. Opened up, just to be possible shot down once again. What had he been thinking? He should have kept his mouth shut. Something he never knew how to do.

Rose on the other hand was touched and was filled with renewed hope. He still loved her…maybe there was a chance to get him back after all. Looking into his eyes, Rose realized that there indeed was a chance. All she had to do was tell the real reason she had broken up with him. But could she do that? She didn’t want to make trouble between Jack and his grandmother; but she couldn’t bare the thought of being away from him any longer. Besides, he would find out anyway. Sooner or later, Irene would let her part in destroying their perfect love slip. It was best for everyone that the truth came out now.

"Jack…I have to tell you something…I have to tell you the truth…the real reason behind the breakup."

Jack frowned, not sure what to think. What did she mean by the real reason? The reason behind the brake up was because she had fallen out of love with him…right? That she had wanted Cal instead. "Rose…you’ve lost me here. What are you talking about?"

Now love is a game that we both like to play
But will I win or lose if I go or if I stay
Even though I try to hide my broken heart inside
Girl you know me inside out and I can’t get you off my mind

Rose took a deep breath. Everything could possibly change tonight. Her life could be put back together again. A distant part of her still worried about her mother. If she did get Jack back…there would be no more Hockley money and Irene Devereau could make life twice as hard for Ruth. But the stronger and more sensible part was tired of sacrificing her happiness for the sake of her mother, who was willing to force her into a loveless and abusive marriage. Besides, she had held that responsibility for three long years. It was time for Rose to take her life back and live it for herself. Even if it was too late for jack and herself…she ill not be marrying Caledon Hockley and Jack will know that she had never fallen out of love with him. That it was all the work of his grandmother.

"Jack…I…. I had lied that day I broke up with you. I never stopped loving you and my reason for leaving had nothing to do with Cal…even though I did get involved with him afterwards, at my mother’s urging."
Jack’s frown deepened. So there was another reason for his losing Rose and he had a feeling what that reason was. It was the same reason that he hadn’t heard from his sister except for a birthday and Christmas card two years ago. But he needed for Rose to confirm his suspicions. "Why Rose? Why would you lie to me like that? We were both happy that morning. What changed?"
She looked away, nervous about his reaction. Nervous that Irene could come crashing into the frat party, to take away Rose’s last chance with Well…your grandmother met me there. Jack…she threatened me and when Jack. But no one came in and Jack was still waiting for an explanation.

"Well…you remember when I went down to the cafeteria, right? that didn’t work, she threatened my mother! She said that if I didn’t break it off with you that she’ll take my mother’s job away and make sure that she’ll never find another one," Fresh tears escaped from Rose’s eyes and fell freely as she remembered the pain of that horrible day. The pain that had ripped both her and Jack apart so easily. "I couldn’t let her take my mother’s job away, so I put those aspiring actress skills to use. I went back to your room and tore both of our hearts out. I’m sorry Jack. I’m so sorry for hurting you like I did. I didn’t want to….I was just so scared and worried…"

Jack took Rose’s hand in his, understanding and anger in his eyes. He now understood why Rose had broke up with him and anger at Irene for threatening Rose. How dare she do that to him? How dare she do that to Rose?

"Are you angry?" Rose asked, looking away, scared of the darkening of his usually bright blue eyes.

"Not at you. At my so-called grandmother. I should have known that she had something to do with it. Rose, I’m so sorry for this. Your life…Cal…It’s all her fault!" Jack glared at the table, his anger at Irene set in his eyes. His grandmother had ruined his life and it had all started with Rose. Really, he wasn’t surprised. He had a few choice words for Irene. But right now they could wait. Rose needed him now.

"Jack," She gently touched his hand, her voice soft and pleading. "Don’t be angry with her. Perhaps it was for the best. I mean…we were so young…"

"But we were in love…and we were happy. She had no right to mess with that. No right at all. Rose…I can’t let her get away with taking away the one good thing I had. You."

Rose blushed and looked away, not sure how to respond to Jack’s statement. He had been the one good thing in her life as well and losing him had destroyed her…had mad iit all too easy for her mother and Cal to take her over like they had. "I know. But I could have been stronger, Jack…"

"You were scared and she played on that. There’s no excuse for that," his anger tainted every word. He would have rushed off to confront Irene right there and then, but something stopped him. Looking into Rose’s eyes, he knew what it was. He had a chance to get his Rose back and he couldn’t just pass it up. "But it’s good of you to try to make things ok, though."

"I just know that despite it all…you love her. I don’t want to cause trouble."

"You’re not. This falls on her. She should never had interfered. Besides, someone needs to stand up to her. It might as well be me."

Rose sighed, not really up to arguing about it. If Jack wanted to confront his grandmother, so be it. Right now, Rose had to think of a way to get rid of Cal, once and for all and how to regain control of her life from her mother. A way that wouldn’t be fatal.

Rose wasn’t the only one contemplating possible solutions for her problems. Jack wanted to help as well. Even if they went their separate ways, he wanted Rose to be happy and free. Getting Hockley out of her life was the only way to make that happen. The idea came to him swiftly. Something that was sure to get Cal out of Rose’s life and control back in Rose’s court. But would she go for it? Would she even consider it even? Well, there was only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath, Jack spoke.

"Don’t marry Cal Rose…marry me instead."

Rose looked at Jack in disbelief, unable to believe what she had just heard. She had to have been mistaken. She wanted Jack back so badly, that she was imagining things. "What was that?" She asked, swallowing down the spark of hope she felt at the possibility.

"Marry me. Tonight. We could go to Vegas and have it done. What do you say? Marry me."

Rose’s answer was swift and sure. She didn’t even have to think about it. "Yes. Yes Jack…I’ll marry you….if you want me too…if you’re sure…"

"I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life, Rose. Besides, I still love you. More now then I did three years ago even. I need you back in my life Rose."

She sniffed, touched by Jack’s confession. She had never dreamed of this when she had left for the party that evening. "I need you too Jack. More then you’ll ever know."

The reunited lovers stared into each other’s eyes, feeling happy relief and hope for the future. They were back together and this time, nothing would tear them apart. As Rose recited her wedding vows, hours later, she knew that she was taking the right step this time. With Jack by her side, she felt strong and invincible. Looking into her new husband’s eyes, she knew that control of her life was hers once again and as long as she had him, nothing will take it away ever again.

Now I could say that I don’t love you no more
And I could say that I’ve closed the door for our love
And I can tell you I feel It’s time for us to go our separate ways
But baby I just wouldn’t the same
Cause girl your love is still on my brain

Still on My Brain- Justin Timberlake

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