COUGHT IN A DREAM

1

Ruth’s P.O.V.

It was a cold winter’s day when Ruth got the call that the private investigators she had hired a year ago had found her daughter, who for ten years has been presumed deceased aboard the Titanic. Alone and shivering in a ditch, catatonic and pale. All this time her daughter had been wandering the streets of New York using the alias Rose Dawson and from what people who had encountered the young woman had described as a girl who didn’t talk much, was totally alone and sometimes acted as if she wasn’t even there. One day she didn’t show up for work, and that was that. No one saw her again, except for the landlady that had thrown her out in the streets for failing to make rent. So of course, Ruth had hopped the first train to New York and found her daughter on 42^nd street, just setting on a bench looking out at oncoming traffic.

"Rose?" Ruth stared down in shock at the young bedraggled woman staring out at the cars and horse carriages. "Rose. It’s Ruth. Your mother."

Rose acted as if she didn’t hear her. She just kept staring straight ahead. "My lord. What has happened to you? Where is that boy you were so determined to be with? Did he leave you Rose? Is that it? Did he just up and left you here with no clothes, no money, nothing?"

Still no answer. Sighing, Ruth took Rose by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet. Still no reaction. Just blank green eyes staring out at nothing in particular.

"My lord Rose. What’s wrong with you?"

Rose’s P.O.V

Rose stretched and yawned as she woke up next to her husband and sounds of laughter sounded throughout the house. She got out of bed and peeked into the hall to see her twins Molly and Tommy run through the house, laughing with childish glee as their adoptive sister Lindsey went chasing after them.

"What’s going on out there?" Rose narrowed her eyes playfully. "Lindsey aren’t you supposed to be going to meet Brandon for your outing?"

"They took my ribbons mother!" Lindsey pouted. "My lucky Ribbons! You know, the ones daddy gave me for my birthday!"

"Children, give your sister back her ribbons! Today is an important day for her," Rose scolded.

"But Mommy! We’re having fun!" Molly protested.

"You heard your mother," Jack’s voice appeared from behind.

Tommy was the first to give up his ribbon. When daddy said do something, he did it. Molly was soon to follow.

"Now apologize," Rose crossed her arms.

"Sorry," Both children mumbled, before running back into the room they shared.

"Lindsey, why don’t you go get ready in the dressing room. The children hardly go in there," Rose suggested. Lindsey gratefully nodded and disappeared into the room at the end of the hall.

"I think they’re getting worse," Jack sighed, wrapping his arms around Rose’s waist and pulling her close.

"Nah, more playful," Rose sighed. She frowned as suddenly the room became brighter and brighter and Jack’s arms disappeared from around her waist. She turned around to find that Jack was gone and so was the house.

"Miss. Dewitt Bukater? Miss Dewitt Bukater? Can you hear me?" a voice called out from the brightness. She closed her eyes against the brightness and opened them again to stair into the warm brown eyes of a man she had never seen before. She was in a white room setting up in a bed. She was also wearing a white night gown that covered her arms and came down to her feet. She frowned. Where was she? Where was Jack and the children? Was she having another episode? After all these years?

"Where am I?"

"Saint Cidars," The doctor explained.

Rose frowned again. Saint Cidars? Why that was the mental institution in Philadelphia? Whatever was she doing here? She had to get out of her and back to her family. Now.

2

Ruth’s P.O.V

It had been a long month for Ruth. First there was finding Rose in the streets, totally catatonic. Her daughter wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence, so she had called Cal, who by that time was married and begged for his help. Feeling sorry for the woman who had helped through a bad period of his life, he had agreed. He came and picked Ruth and Rose up and got them back to Philadelphia where Ruth had Rose committed to Saint Cidars. Hopefully they could bring her daughter back to the world of the living…and if they couldn’t, well at least Rose would be off the streets. That was always a good thing.

Sadly there was no sign of life from her daughter. All Rose did was stare blankly at the wall. That is why, a month after find her daughter, Ruth was surprised to hear screams and objects crashing into the wall coming from Rose’s room. Ruth immediately rushed in the room and gasped. There was Rose, now trembling and sobbing in a corner, fear clear in her bright green eyes.

"Rose?" Ruth approached her daughter cautiously.

"Mother?" Rose stared up with wide green eyes, showing disbelief. "mother is that really you?"

"Yes Rose. It’s me," Ruth didn’t go any further, not wanting to startle the younger woman anymore than she already was.

"Momma!" Rose flew into her mother’s arms and held on for dear life, as if she let go Ruth would disappear. "Mother tell them to let me go! Let go back to Jack! He’s waiting for me momma! Him and Molly, Tommy, and Lindsey!"

Ruth frowned. She had recently found that Jack Dawson’s name was not on the survivor’s list, that he had not survived the disaster. Therefore, there was no way for Rose to return to him. And who were Molly, Tommy, and Lindsey? "Rose…who are Molly, Tommy, and Lindsey?" She had a very bad feeling about this.

Rose looked at Ruth strangely. As if she was supposed to know. "Why mother…they’re your grandchildren. Tommy and Molly are the twins Jack and I had. You were there. Remember? And Lindsey, well of course you haven’t met her yet. We adopted her. Can you imagine? Me the mother of a fifteen year old? But Jack and I love her as if she were our own."

"Oh dear," Ruth looked at the doctors in concern.

"What?" Rose pulled away and looked at her mother in concern. "By the way mother, what are you doing here? You died years ago…at least that’s what we were told."

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, can we talk to you outside please?" The doctor cleared his throat.

Ruth nodded. "Listen Rose, I will be right back. Just stay here wait for me. Okay?"

Rose nodded, her eyes followed Ruth as she disappeared out into the hall with the doctors. "My God, she thinks that boy survived and she married him and had children…"

"That’s what I want to talk to you about Mrs. Dewitt Bukater. She keeps referring to herself as Rose Dawson and speaks of a Jack Dawson. Do you know who he is?"

"She met the boy on that God forsaken ship and they became…close. She ran back on board the ship while it was sinking for that boy. I checked the survivor’s list when I found her and saw that he did not survive. Jack Dawson has been dead for ten years now."

"That’s what I thought. Set down, because the news I have to give you isn’t good."

Ruth swallowed and placed a hand on her throat. "What’s wrong with my daughter?"

"…How can I tell you this. Your daughter suffers from a type of schitzerfrenia. With this illness, the victim lives in a dream world of their making. They are completely out of touch with reality and most times are catatonic. Like you found your daughter. Now we’ve gotten lucky because Rose has awaken from her dream somewhat, but sooner or later she will slip back in."

"My God…how do we cure her doctor?"

"Well she’ll have to cure herself. We’ll have to convince her that the reality she had known all these years wasn’t real. That it was only a dream and that it’s time to live in the real world. To go on with her life. That’s where you come in. You may be the only person that can make her see this."
Ruth swallowed hard, her eyes downcast. "That may not be so doctor. You see…Rose and I…we’ve never gotten along…"

"Well that didn’t seem the case just now. She clung to you for dear life in there. Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, I can’t make you do this. But if you love your daughter, they way you seem to…well you’ll at least try to reason with Rose to remain with us in this world. Convince her that this was the healthiest way. She’ll have to grieve for this Jack sooner or later…and it’s better to be now where she has you to comfort her then later on down the road…"

Ruth nodded. What the doctor said was right. Rose needed to face reality and now. Getting to her feet and her mind made up, Ruth went back into Rose’s room and approached her daughter who was now setting the bed, wringling her pale hands.

"Mother? Did you talk to the doctor? Will when I be able to go home? Did you get a hold of Jack? Is he coming to pick me up?" Rose shot question after question at Ruth.

Rose’s P.O.V

She looked at her mother, hope sparking in her eyes. She wanted to get back to Jack fast, because she had a bad feeling about this place…this place where she couldn’t even feel the warmth of Jack’s presence in the world. "Mother?"

Her mother cleared her throat and looked deeply into Rose’s eyes. She licked her lips as if readying herself for going into battle. "Rose…listen to me and listen to me carefully. You’re sick. You’re very sick and getting well is totally up to you."

Rose frowned. Why did her mother sound so grim? And if she’s sick…well she’ll just have to get well. Bring Jack to her side and she’ll be able to get well right away. "Ok. What’s wrong with me?"
"You’re suffering from a type of Schitzerfrenia. You live in a dream world and completely block out the real world. You’re at times catatonic. At times people rarely come out of it. But you did. For a short time your doctor says. He said that I have to convince you to come back to us for good."

Rose frowned. She wasn’t like the sound of this. "Mother…where’s Jack? Why isn’t he here? I was with him just a minute ago…and then I ended up here."

Ruth swallowed. "Rose…Jack’s dead. He’s been dead for ten years now. He didn’t survive the tragedy."

Rose’s frown turned into a downright glare. She’s convinced that her mother was lying. After all, Ruth never really liked Jack. She had tried a number of times to discredit him. Rose had thought that they buried the hatchet though…that Ruth had finally accepted Jack as a part of Rose’s life. But it looked as if she was wrong.

"How dare you. How dare you say such a thing! Jack’s not dead! He survived! And we’re married and have two beautiful children!"

"Rose…listen to me…those children and Jack…they’re just figments of your imagination. The life you lived with them…it’s not real. But this is. This is real," Ruth held Rose’s hand tightly. "I’m sorry. If I could bring Jack back for you or make what you were living through real, I would. But I can’t. Jack is dead and you’ve been living on the streets for the past ten years. I only found you a month ago on the streets going by the name Rose Dawson and completely catatonic."

Rose shook her head wildly, snatching her hand back from her mother. Lies! This was all lies! She wasn’t sick! And Jack wasn’t dead! Cal was behind this! He had her mother kidnap her somehow and now they were keeping her away from Jack. But he would find her. She knew Jack would stop at nothing to rescue her. He done it once and he could do it again! Her mother wasn’t going to stop him. "You’re lying! Cal put you up to this didn’t he?! What did he pay you mother? Or better yet, when is the wedding?"

Hurt appeared in Ruth’s eyes as she looked at her daughter. "Cal’s married now Rose. He has no more interest in marrying you."

Rose of course didn’t believe her. Not one foul thing out of her mother’s mouth was true.

"Rose…the only way I can get through to you is have you remember I guess. What happened that night…after Titanic went down. Tell me, what happened to you and Jack?"

Rose glared at her mother. What happened after Titanic went down? Well she could tell her that right now. She remembered it as if it was yesterday. Everything was so vivid. "We ended up in the water mother. Jack and I. Jack found a large piece of wood and had me climb aboard. He would have too if there was enough room but there wasn’t. So he just held my hand and tried to cheer me up. He would tell jokes or sing to me. Mostly though we were quiet. We were too weak and cold to speak. I was losing hope though, but he wouldn’t let me. He kept on telling me that I was going to get out of there and that I wasn’t going to die that night. In fact he told me I was going to die a old lady, warm in my bed. He made me promise to go on. To never give up, no matter how hopeless. I of course promised, wanting to make him feel better. I don’t know how much time had passed between my promise and the call of that one boat returning. But when it did, it was like the voice from heaven. I shook Jack’s hand…,"

Rose frowned…there was something wrong with this memory. Something was definitely wrong. She kept wanting to say that he never woke up. But he had. She knows he had. He was weak, but still awake. Well then why did she want to say that she shook his hand and he never woke up? Why was that memory so much stronger than the other one? No! No this couldn’t be happening! Jack didn’t die that night! She knew he didn’t?

Well then where was he then? Jack would never leave her side if she was sick. If she had been kidnapped, he would have found her by now. She closed her eyes, and the memory assaulted her, strong and more realistic then her life for the past ten years.

A boat had returned at last, and for the first time she felt the spark of hope come to her. She turned around and shook Jack’s hand and called for him, but he never woke up. His beautiful remained closed, his eyelashed and brows framed in ice. Tears appeared in her eyes and she felt like just staying there and dying right along with him. But she didn’t. Kissing his hand and promising one last time that she’d survive, Rose let him go and watched him disappear into the dark depths of the North Atlantic. Spotting the whistle in a officer’s mouth, she swam and snatched the whistle out of the corpses’s mouth and blew as hard as she could until the boat came back for her.

That was the real memory and Rose knew it. What Ruth was saying struck Rose as the truth and with dawning horror, Rose collapsed into heartwrenching tears. Ruth pulled Rose into a comforting embrace and stroked her hair.

"My poor girl. My poor sweet girl. I’m so sorry it wasn’t real. I’m so sorry…"

"I want to go back," Rose whimpered.

Ruth shook her head. "You can’t Rose. It’s not real. It’s preventing you from healing."

"I don’t want to! I don’t want to live here! Not in a world without Jack! Please mama!"
"Oh Rose, I’m sorry. But you need to heal. It’s not even that I want you to, I do, but I know I can’t be the reason. Heal for yourself Rose. Heal for yourself and Jack. You have a promise to him that you haven’t been keeping."

"I can’t…"

"You can. You are my daughter and you have my spirit. I’ve seen that time and again. And obviously so has Jack. That spirit was what made him fall in love with you. What made him give his life for you. Darling, he wanted you to live life to the fullest. And I’m going to make sure that you start living up to that promise. Do you understand me?"
Rose bit her lip. Of course she did. Ruth had used the magic word to get Rose to agree. Jack. She had used his promise to get her to see that she needed to heal from the experience of Titanic after all these years. But how was she going to do so without Jack? She’s had him or her image of him for all these years. Of him and their children…how was she going to live without them?

"He’ll always be with you Rose. Always. How else do you think I found you? How those investigators found you? We had help from your guardian angel," Ruth stroked Rose’s hair, trying to make this decision easier for her.

"Can I be alone now?" Rose looked at her mother, tears now leaking from her eyes.

"Rose?"

"Don’t worry mother. You’re right. I haven’t been dealing with my grief. I’ve been living in a dream for all these years and now it’s time to stop. Just give me sometime alone to say goodbye to my little world. To say good-bye to…Jack," his name came out as a crack in Rose’s voice as she began to cry again.

"Ok dearest. I’ll be back later," Ruth kissed the top of Rose’s head before exiting the room.

3

Rose’s P.O.V.(Author’s note: I’m writing the last part in the first person. I think it will give Rose’s good bye to Jack more poignant.)

As soon as I closed my eyes I found myself back in my little world with Jack. His arms were still around my waist, his warm breath on back of my neck. It seemed so real…so inviting. All I had to do was just forget about my mother and the doctors and continue my little charade here with Jack and our children. But I knew I couldn’t. That even if I did, deep down I know that I was breaking my promise to him and my life would be one big lie. A lie born in my heart of what could have been. No, I couldn’t stay here with Jack. My perfect world has come to a end. I turned around and stared into his ernest blue eyes, so full of love and trust. That was when I knew that it was time to come clean. It was time to say good-bye.

"I love you," He kissed my lips tenderly. Funny…he had felt so real yesterday, but now…that I’m facing the truth, I couldn’t feel his lips. In fact, the feel of his strong arms around me were fading away. And then I noticed, the house was totally quiet. No sounds of feet running or children laughing. No sounds of Lindsey getting ready for her date. It was as if my brain had wiped them away. They were characters I had made up to help my fantasy alone and now that the fantasy was ending…there was no longer any need for them. The only people who weren’t characters in my little charade was Jack and myself, and Jack was no longer real. He had died ten years ago.

"I’m sorry," a tear escaped from my eye and my heart broke even more as he frowned and wiped the tear away.

"What for?"

"I haven’t been keeping my promise to you Jack."

Jack’s frown deepened. "What are you talking about?"

"This…this life here…it’s not real. It’s a dream world I created after the Titanic went down…after you…after you died. You’re not really here Jack. You never were. You died with the rest of those people in the water, but I couldn’t let you. After I let go of your hand, and was pulled into the boat, I came up with my own little world. I brought you back to life and from there on out, I’ve been living a lie. I’m sorry Jack. I’m so sorry," I began to cry, but was not surprised when he pulled me into his arms and suddenly I could feel him. His arms, his breath, the kiss on my forehead as he pulled away so I could look at him.

I gasped as I realized we were no longer in the room we had shared, but on the Titanic standing at the top of the stairs in the dining saloon. Right where he was waiting for me to take me to a real party and he was back in the same clothes he had worn our last night on Titanic. He was also surrounded by a heavenly glow. Looking around I saw all the people that had gone down on the ship watching us with curious eyes.

"Jack?" I asked, confused and scared at the same time.

"It’s really me this time Rose. This isn’t just a dream or the world you’ve been living in. You can’t believe all the times I have tried to reach you, but you had me blocked out. So I went to your mother, and kind of inspired her to look for you. I knew she’d help you face reality again."

"Oh Jack…," I choked just for him to pull me into his arms again. His presence was so strong and comforting. I never wanted to leave, but somehow knew he wouldn’t let me stay. He was indeed my guardian angel and as all good angel’s he was going to make sure I was ok.

"Shhh Rose. Don’t be sad for me. I’m alright here. There’s no pain, no sorrow…we’re all happy here Rose. All of us. And I’ll be here waiting. When it’s your time, I’ll be waiting right here and we’ll be together for eternity Rose. I promise. But right now you have to return to the land of the living and keep your end of the bargain first."

"But I want to be with you Jack!" I cried. This was really Jack and I knew it and telling him good-bye was ripping out my heart.

"You will be Rose. Just not now," He pulled away and wiped my tears away. He looked at the clock, which was now stopped on two twenty and sighed. "Look at the time. It’s time for you to go Rosebud."

"But Jack…," I tried to protest, but it was too late, somehow I started floating away from him. I was being pulled up and backwards. He waved good-bye to me before turning around, hiding his face from view. I tried to call out to him, but I couldn’t. I watched as the people of Titanic grew farther and farther away and then I saw the ruins of the ship itself and then I was in the darkness of the ocean. I gasped as I woke up to stare into my mother’s concerned eyes.

"Rose?" She had asked.

"I’m back mother. I’m back for good," I smiled a smile I didn’t feel.

Five Years later…

It’s been five years since my awakening and two years since meeting Chris Calvert. The second love of my life. The first obviously was and will and always will be Jack Dawson. I had met Chris at a service for Titanic survivors and their loved ones. Chris’s brother had died aboard the liner and was just healing, just as I was healing from losing Jack. We then met for lunch and two nights later for dinner. Two years later, we were wed. I’m happy now, or as close to as happy as I could be with out Jack. I don’t think about the world I had awaken from often, but I do think of Jack every single day.

I know he’s happy and proud of me. I’m finally living up to my promise. I only regret it had taken me this long. As I watch my husband typing up his second novel, I stroke my swollen abdomen. Our first child together. I already have a name picked out if it’s a boy. And if it’s a girl, I’m naming her after my mother who had saved me from myself so many years ago.

I smile as I think I hear the familiar chords of the Titanic band, letting me know that Jack was always with me and was happy that I had moved on. That I had found love again. And even though I love Chris with all my heart, I can’t wait until I’m with Jack again and this time it wouldn’t be a dream, but a reality. A reality of eternity with the man I love.

The End

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