AFTER TITANIC

BOOK ONE

Chapter Forty-One

Ten days later, Jack and Rose returned to Santa Monica, both in high spirits. The visit to Boston was wonderful. Jack had learned the ropes of the family business rather easily and Rose had made some great friends with jack's other relatives. The trip was a success.
"Here we are. We're home,' Jack smiled, placing the key in the door. "Wonder if everyone was waiting up for us?"
"Well, mother's probably still angry at me. She hasn't really spoken to me since that arguement," Rose sighed. "Molly will probably miss us. I still can't believe how empty the place feels without Eliza and Maxwell. I can't believe they found a house that quick."
"Well they probably want to get their family started and the beach house was already cramped with the twins," Jack shrugged.
Rose just smiled lovingly at her husband as she entered the house with the sleeping twins.
"Rose you're home," Molly appears in the foyer. "I wasn't expecting you two back until noon."
"We caught an earlier train," Rose smiled, hugging Molly. "Is mother still here?"
"Oh yes, but she's still asleep. She was up late last night complaining about heartburn," Molly nods towards the stairs.
"Heartburn? She never has heartburn," Rose's brow wrinkles in confusion.
"That's what she said it was darlin'. I didn't argue with her."
"Well I'll go check on her. We have a lot to talk about. I'll put the twins down while I'm at it," Rose smiled.
"We'll be down here if you need us," Molly watched Rose disappear up the stairs. "Well Jack. Tell me about Boston. What all did you inherit?"
Rose shivers as she puts the children to bed. She didn't like the dead silence that enveloped the second floor. Sighing deeply, nervous about the coming confrontation with her mother...Rose enters her room.
Ruth's eyes are closed her face totally relaxed. She must have really stayed up to be sleeping so deeply. Taking a deep breath, Rose approaches the bed. She wants to get everything ironed out before Ruth and Molly headed back to Wisconsin. Maybe Rose will offer to take Ruth to Philadelphia next month when she gets some time off to visit Aunt Pearl.
"Mother?" Rose asked tentatively, shaking her mother. But Ruth doesn't respond. She remains silent and unmoving. Rose shakes her harder and calls Ruth a little louder. "Mother!"
No response. Dread building up in her, Rose bends down and feels for a pulse. There was none. She leans her head down on her mother's chest and found no heartbeat. That's when she noticed how pale Ruth was.
"Jack! Molly!" Rose runs to the top of the stairs and calls, her voice at the edge of hysteria. "Come quick!"
"Rose darlin' what is it?" Molly rushes up the stairs with Jack behind her. It's his arms that Rose rushes into.
"Oh Jack it's mother! She won't wake up and she's so cold and pale and she doesn't have a heartbeat!" Rose cired, clinging to her husband for dear life and burying her face in his chest.
"Let me check," Molly enters Ruth's room, leaving Jack and Rose alone.
"It's okay Rose. I'm sure everything's going to be alright. I'm sure it will," Jack held her tightly, stroking her hair. Even though he said the words, dread still raised up in his heart. If Ruth didn't wake up...it'd destroy Rose.
Jack...go get Maxwell," Molly enters the room. "Hurry. I'll take care of Rose."
Jack nods and grips Rose shoulders, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I'll be right back Rose. I promise."
Rose nods, the light quickly fading out of her eyes.
"Go on Jack," Molly pulls Rose into her arms. "She'll be alright until you get back."
Jack nods and leaves. Twenty minutes later he returns with Maxwell and Eliza. Eliza immediately goes to her friend's side and holds her hand while Maxwell examines Ruth. Rose knew the news were grim when he came out ten minutes later, a solemn expression on his face.
"Maxwell?" Rose leaves Eliza's side. "How's my mother? She'll be alright won't she?"
"Rose...Your mother...she's dead. She must have died sometime last night judging from how cold she is. Did she have any health problems?"
"She was complaining of heartburn last night," Molly interjected.
Maxwell nods in understanding. "Sounds like she had a massive heart attack."
"A heart attack? But she never had any heart problems," Rose gasped.
"Uh Rose darlin...she was taking heart medicine. I noticed her taking some when she moved in with me. I thought she was still taking them," Molly places a comforting hand on Rose's shoulder.
"But wasn't she still taking it?" Jack asked.
"Sometimes the medicine loses its potency. If there's no doctor to keep an eye out for such things...the medicine won't do any good." Maxwell explains. "Mrs. Brown...has Mrs. Dewitt Bukater been going to the doctor?"
Molly bows her head and shakes her head. "She never been to a doctor since I've known her."
"Oh mother," Rose chokes on the sobs she couldn't keep back any longer. Jack immediately went to his wife and took her in his arms.
"Shhh Rose. Don't cry," Jack soothed her, trying to calm her. "She wouldn't want you to cry."
"I'm terribly sorry Rose," Maxwell lays a comforting on Rose's shoulder. "Let me call the morge so they can come get her." Jack nods his agreement.
"I'll come with you," Molly and Eliza follow Maxwell down the stairs.
"Let's go in our room Rose. You need to rest," Jack leads her into their room and to their bed.
"It's my fault Jack. If I wasn't so insistent...it I had just done what she wanted...she wouldn't be dead now," Rose cried. "She was right Jack. I am selfish. I never think of anyone else's needs except for my own."
"Now Rose that's not true. You're not selfish at all. If you were, you'd have never came back for m on Titanic when the ship was sinking...you'd never had jumped off that lifeboat to be with me if you were selfish," Jack held her even tighter. "You're the most unselfish person I know and I love you very much."
"But Jack, don't you see I was selfish...I was always looking out for myself. The one time my mother had asked anything from me since our reconciliation and I refused. I only thought about my need to meet your family and not her need to see her sister when it would be the last time she would do so," Rose sobbed. "I should have seen it Jack. I should have seen that it was her last chance to see her sister."
"Oh Rose. Don't do that to yourself. There's no way you could've known that this would happen. As far as you knew your mother was as healthy as a horse," Jack strokes Rose's hair.
Rose cried even harder and scoots closer to Jack. Jack was so kind and selfless...she didn't deserve to have his love...he deserved someone a lot more caring...as caring as he was. "I don't deserve you Jack. You're so kind and I'm so selfish."
"Rose...you're not selfish. And you do deserve my love and more than that. You deserve to be completely happy, not miserable...not this," Jack pulls away and look into her eyes. "You listen to me Rose Dawson and i want you to repeat after me. You are the most loving caring person in the world and you deserve the best life has to offer. The death of your mother was not your fault. you had no way of knowing that she was ill."
Rose looked into his gaze, which was unwavering. It was the same gaze he held her in that night when they were in the cold water and he had made her promise to go on with her life...no matter what. Sighing deeply, withou any conviction, she repeated the words Jack had said.
"That's my girl," Jack pulls her back into the hug, not noticing how the light had never returned to her eyes as she forced a smile. Rose no longer felt as alive as she had that morning before they returned to Santa Monica. She felt as dead as her mother now was and she had no idea how to get that spark of life back.
Rose had fallen asleep. Leaving Jack time to go downstairs and fix something for lunch, but molly had beaten him to it.
"How is she Jack?" Molly asked, noticing Jack in the kitchen doorway.
"Not good Molly. She's blaming herself for this and nothing I say or do is making a difference to her," Jack sighed and collapsed into a chair. "What am I going to do if I can't pull her out of this depression?"
Molly comes over and lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Give it time Jack. Just be there for her and give her time to get over the grief. Rose is a strong girl. She's going to pull through this just fine...with your love and support."
"I hope so Molly. I hope so," Jack replied as the twins begin to cry. "I better go get them before Rose wakes up." Jack gets up and heads for the stairs.
Molly stares after him worry in her eyes. Jack was a stron boy sure enough...and she meant what she said about Rose. She was strong too, but was she really strong enough to pull through this? Was Jack's love enough to help her? Molly sighed and went back to fixing the casserole.

Five days later...

It was a cold dreary day in Philadelphia when they buried Ruth Dewitt Bukater right next to her late husband. Of course the whole Dawson family showed up to show their respects and so were all the survivors from Titanic and other people who had known Ruth, including the Hockleys. Of course Cal didn't dare approach Rose, neither did his father. They were both ashamed of how they had treated Ruth after the sinking.
Jack had a supporting arm around Rose's shoulder as she watched the priest perform last rites.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," the priest sprinkles dust onto the closed coffin. "May she rest in peace."
"No!" Rose screams. "It's dark down there and she hates the dark! You can't do this to her!" She runs to the gravedigger and grabs his arm just as he's about to shovel more dirt into the hole.
"I can't believe the scene she is making," she heard her cousin Marjorie giggle to her aunt Pearl, but Rose didn't care. She had to stop them from doing this to her mother.
"Rose stop it. Come back," Jack gently pulls her away and held her in a tight embrace. "It's okay Rose. She's not even in there. She's with your father. That's just an empty shell they're burying down there."
"Jack please make them stop," Rose sobbed, clinging to her husband.
Jack just held her as the grave digger finished his job, unshaken by Rose's hysterical outburst. The man was used to scenes like this...he dealt with them everyday.
"Please sir, keep your wife under control," the digger hissed to Jack.
"I don't control her sir. Plus her reaction is understandable since this is her mother," Jack growled back.
The man just shakes his head and continues with his job.

Jack, why don't you just take Rose on back to the hotel. I'll take care of things here," Molly suggests.
"That's a great idea Molly. Thank-you," Jack smiled before leading Rose out of the cemetery.

That night Rose tossed and turned in the throes of a nightmare. She was running through a foggy forest, trying to find her mother, who was calling her name. Finally she found her on a shipping dock, ready to board the broken ruin of Titanic.
"Mother wait!" Rose cried, trying to reach Ruth before she could board the ship. "Don't get on that ship!"
"This is your fault Rose!" Ruth shouted. "This is all your fault for being so selfish!"
"No! Don't say that!" Ruth shouted. "This is all your fault for being so selfish!"
"No! Don't say that!" Rose cried. "I love you!"
"All your fault you selfish girl! You don't deserve Jack and those babies. You don't deserve them at all!"
"Mother!"
"Good-bye Rose!" Ruth turns her back on her daughter, leaving her sobbing on the shipping deck as the Titanic disappears back into the sea.

"Mother no!" Rose sooned again and again. "Mother no."
"Rose darling, wake up," Jack shakes Rose's shoulder. Her cries has woken him up and now he was trying to comfort her as best he could. "Shhh Rose. Don't cry. Whatever it was, it's just a dream."
"No Jack," Rose sobbed. "It was real. She was boarding Titanic as it probably looks right now. And she said it was all my fault and I don't deserve you and the children. That I was too selfish to deserve you three."
"Oh Rose. Don't think that way. We're lucky to have you. I thank god each day for you. You have to know that by now," Jack pulls her into a hug.
"But I killed my mother Jack. How can you still love me after that?"
Jack pulls away and looks Rose squarely in the eyes. "Now you listen here Rose. You did not kill your mother. She died of a heart attack, plain and simple. Tons of people die of heart attacks every day. It's a natural thing to die of. You had nothing to do with it."
"But all she wanted to do was visit her sister and I wouldn't have any of it. Jack, her heart was set on it. If I had went ahead and gone with her, maybe this wouldn't have happened."
"Or maybe if she had kept up with her check ups at the doctors this wouldn't have happened. They would've found a stronger medicine like Maxwell said. So Rose, you have to stop blaming yourself for what you had no control over. Do you understand me?"
Rose looked into Jack's eyes and nods.
"That's my girl," Jack grinned, pulling her back into his arms. He loved her so much and he wasn't about to let her go. "I love you Rose. Don't ever doubt that."
"I know Jack and I love you twice as much," Rose hung on to him. She didn't want to lose him, but she knew she would...eventually he'll open his eyes and see her for the selfish person she was and would leave her and take their children with him. He wouldn't want her anymore.
"Feel better?" Jack asked, staring at her tearstained face.
"Much better," Rose lied, forcing a smile. Jack just smiled back and wiped away a stray tear.
"Let's go back to sleep Rose. We head back to Santa Monica tomorrow."
"Okay Jack," Rose slips deeper under the covers and slip into a dreamless sleep.

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